These days I marvel at strength. The kind that can effortlessly lift a steel vessel full of rice, dal, or bhajji with one hand and carry it to the other end of the table. The way a man can. My eyes follow the owner of that hand. Thinking naughty thoughts even as I innocently eat what he is busy serving us all. They linger on the tattoo at his neck and from there to his high cheekbones that are typical of the men of his race. Along with insolence. He has that too in plenty. His rare smiles always so sardonic, but he is a handsome man so I look forward to the times when he will. I wonder what it must feel to experience a man such as him. The strong arms and the arrogance. What kind of a woman would excite his imagination? They marry very young. Sometimes, when they are in their cradles. I wonder who his woman is and how experienced he is in bed. I have seen him sometimes linger at the canteen. No doubt to get an eyeful of the girls. He blends in easily with his denims and t-shirts and easily passes of as a student. What must seeing youngsters his age enjoying student life do to him? Does he resent the missed opportunities of his life or does he recognise that not all aspirations necessarily bring happiness and contentment.
He is hot blooded. Drives like a maniac. Once, when i was waiting for the shuttle, i almost called out to him to take me along. A slightly previous version of me would have done it too. But now, i am conscious of it all. Of my advanced age. Of my auntiness. Of my unacttrativeness. Of my weight. Plus i expect to be back there again so have to be careful of my conduct. But, if i am careful enough, i can enjoy him. Partially. From a distance.
He asked me one day why i did not come for lunch. I was flattered that he noticed my absence. He was taken aback when i told him where i had been going. He asked me if i would be around for lunch on my last day too. I simply said no. I did not tell him I was leaving. I think i should have. I used to love it when he would bring me milk on his own. The first few days, he would even get it in a big steel glass. That was so unexpected and made me feel nice.
He is hot. And so is his senior. Too much swag for cooks and servers. And one reason why i loved my mealtimes there.